225
by The Bone Lady
Summary: Sydney changes, Vaughn feels loss, and Sloane sits in his thrown…still S/V ending
1. Before Jesus

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2+2=5 

by

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The Bone Lady

Rating: PG:13/ R

Summary: Sydney changes, Vaughn feels loss, and Sloane sits in his thrown…

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Part 1

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Before Jesus

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5 years, 3 days and 6 months, and all she could remember is that 2+2=5. It was beautiful really, and it put everything in perspective. Peace is war, freedom is slavery and love is hate. In this world nothing was wrong, everything was right. He had done this, he had saved her. He convinced her in the only way that he could , pain. 2+2=5. And finally after days upon days she believed him. Her very own Jesus Christ, her savoir. 5 years, 3 days and 6 months ago she would of thought of him to be her enemy, After all back then Arvin Sloane was. But everything had changed now…2+2 didn't equal four anymore. 

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A numb feeling filled her body when she came. With him it wouldn't be this way. It would be an earth shattering, angel's screaming, thanking god moment. And afterwards they would lay into each other, clinging to their combined essence and whispering endearments into each other's ear, glowing and utterly happy. But she wasn't with him. 

Will had kissed her again. She didn't like that feeling. Instead of liking his kiss, she dreaded it. It felt like slobber slowly dripping in and out of her mouth, infecting her with it's diseased presence. But so many duty's had made her do this. Duty to her country, duty to Sloane, duty to the CIA and a duty to Will. In truth she had led him on, her suggestive smiles, her lingering sentences and his new involvement in her life, her _real_ life. He had done so much for her, and she had done so little for him. So she let his tongue scar her lips, she let his hands burn like acid on her skin, and she let him slip inside of her. And afterwards, she rolled over, her back to him, cold and angered. Angry at him for doing this to her, for making her feel like she had to do this, angry at Sloane for making her keep the false pretense of normalcy and angry at Michael for making her love him. 

He had tried to hold her but she sat up coldly and told him not to touch her. He talked, and talked and talked. That's all he ever does. 

"So your just going to leave what we just did behind. We made love Sydney. You can't act so callused towards me now! What was I a quick fuck…Damnit Sydney! I love you, I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think you loved me…" 

After he said that, he realized how ignorant he really was. Sydney wouldn't take his ramblings anymore, nor would she take his misconceptions. 

"Oh come on Will, you think I love you! You think I liked it when you touched me. You know a bad I feel? You were so sad, about everything." She had begun to feel tears in her eyes, her voice cracked and images of Michael dead shot up in her mind. But she still continued. She wouldn't pretend with him anymore. "I just wanted you to feel better! Damnit Will! We just had sex , not love, just sex. Your not supposed to be that person. You made me that person! Your not him…Your not fucking him…You never could be." When she finished her loud shouts had gone to a whisper. She looked, sounded, and felt powerless. And then finally, he left

. Briefly on the street they would see each other awkwardly avoiding each other's glances. But other then that she never spoke to him. She found out a year later that Will had been murdered. The CIA told her, a home robbery gone wrong. She knew better. 

She wasn't' sad, or mad or grief stricken. She was at peace. Relieved that she no longer had to live with her burden. Will had been her burden. Never letting her stay in peace. Always getting Sydney in trouble. He thought he had a right to know everything. But he didn't. 

She wasn't ashamed she felt no grief, she wasn't surprised he died, she was merely at peace. 2+2 still equaled four back then. She just didn't' realize that that was about to change. 

Jesus had finally decided to save her. 

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	2. Jesus is Mad

A/N: to Edele Lane, I do have to admit I do am awful when it comes to correcting errors grammatically. I've checked over this 3 times so far, and I still think that to me everything sounds right…..but I'm not a safe bet so yea….But to the "will bashing" I'm a s/v shipper. I've read you recent fic and you're a S/W shipper, I pretty sure. If your sensitive to anything regarding absolute Will-then I'm sorry. But I don't think Will and Sydney work well together. And we already know Sydney loves Vaughn, (counteragent) so yea. Whatever I'm sorry if I'm taking this to personally or am overreacting. I just want to state my case. I am probably overreacting but o well. So here's part 2 

P.S. I'm sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors, and if you review please have mercy J 

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2+2=5

Jesus is mad 

  
Part 2

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Siberia, Tokyo and London. I was sent to all of those places, all of them had something in them that was special. But London held more then little Rambaldi tinkers. It held us. It held me, and it held him. That's when I last saw Michael. Before he left me. 

London was the dawn of my salvation and the death of my innocence. It wasn't a SD-6 mission. No this was worse than that. It was a CIA mission that meant bad things. No trusting but ignorant Dixon watching my back, no counter mission and Michael wouldn't be half way around the world, away from the evil. He would be right with her. 

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This was much worse. Vaughn and Sydney were going on a mission. _Together. _If it had been any other agent, then everything would have gone perfectly. But it was Michael. The man that she dreamed of and secretly loved. The man that at one look can move her sexual libido up 100 notches. From a dormant nun, to sex crazed horny teenage boy, but only with _his_ eyes, and _that _look. No one else could do it. Not even Danny or Noah. . 

It probably wasn't a good idea to kiss him. They were talking about the mission, the CIA wanted them to steal a Rambaldi necklace that was believed to hold the immunity to all diseases within it. Rambaldi's "great work." His lips were moving fast, and he was being expressive with his hands. But all she could think about where his lips moving fast against her's, and his expressive hands massaging her all over. Will had his hands all over her, Will had her. Michael would never. Not as long as she kept it a secret. No. That's when she had it. No more pretending. She didn't' pretend with Will and she wouldn't pretend with him. 

"Michael.." She looked up at him, realizing she sounded so weak. And stunned she had actually said his first name out loud. Most of the time it was all in her head. There she had a white picket fence, a small cape cod style cottage, and Michael was there. He would hold her all the time in that world, whisper sweet nothings into her ear. And close to the end of this dream they would make sweet love. Sometimes there was even a child there. And other times, she would wake up believing she was in that house. She would even wonder why Michael was taking so long in the shower. But then she'd realize that he wasn't in the shower. No. He never was. 

"Michael" This time she wouldn't be weak and meager sounding she was stronger then that. 

"Yea?" he replied, a goofy smile on his lips, she wanted to kiss that smile off him. But he needs to know first, she isn't pure anymore. She's tainted with someone else's lips, hands and love. 

"I want you to know something." It didn't come out strong as she intended, this time she sounded broken.

"Ok…" He knew something was different, so he reached out and grabbed her hand trying to calm her. But you can't contain Sydney, he never could, and he never would. 

Her last bit of courage came, she didn't intend it to sound so loud, and casual but she would explain. He would know. "I slept with Will 3 months ago." 

This wasn't what he wanted to hear. He didn't need to hear this. Will slept with his only true love, Will kissed her, Will touched her, Will was there and he was not. 

Inside his head he had created a perfect world where SD-6 and the CIA didn't exist and neither did Will. This place was much happier for him. Most of the time he would be planted next to Sydney. He even woke up expecting to find Sydney next to him. But he never did. 

After several moments of awkward silence, she decided to speak again. Her voice was strong but soft, unwavering and with truth. 

"Michael, I slept with Will, but I didn't want it. He was so sad, and it was all because of me. And I tried…. I tried so hard to make him happy. But he was a burden. He still is a burden. But Michael, there's something you should know." His gaze had turn away, not wanting to hear her. The words that would come out of her mouth were different from those he expected. 

"I couldn't stop thinking how I killed you. How I killed your trust in me. And even the secrets that I was hiding from myself came out." She lifted her hand to touch his face, so soft and silky. He of course leaned into her hand, hoping that somehow she would make things better. Things _needed_ to be so much better. 

"Syd…please tell me." 

"I love you." She stated with confidence. His face looked up, shock clearly evident. His eyes though, they showed something different, Love. With that look she couldn't stand the separation between them. Hell, and Heaven be damned she was going to kiss him. Taking his collar and crushing him into her, they're tongues danced on the edge of oblivion. Hot and passionate, more intense then any form of sex she had ever had, and she was only kissing him. She had to say it. Maybe he didn't hear it the first time. She needed him to know she needed every one to know. 

"I love you, Michael Vaughn." She looked up into his radiantly glowing eyes. "I love you…Only you! No. (kiss) One. (Kiss) Will. (Kiss) Ever. (Kiss) Change. (Kiss) That!" When she finished he had pulled away. He was standing up now, staring at you. Unfolding every corner that she crumpled up. He eased the creases in her mind, and slowly opened Sydney's walls. And all with that one look. 

"I love you, Sydney Bristow." Red. Blue. Green. Those were all the colors she saw, all the colors she _felt_. Too far you thought, not close enough. She runs into him, kissing his jaw line. Tasting his sweet breath. He carried her slowly to the bed. You wouldn't do this slowly though, this would be hot and heated. His hand were everywhere, _he_ was every where. When you came, you didn't' feel numb. You felt him, all of him. And finally you were happy. 

You curled into his arms, no longer angry. He whispered into your ear, stating how he was going to ravish you more if you let him. So you couldn't have noticed. You told your self, millions and millions of times. You wouldn't' of noticed his eyes. Watching you. 

You didn't realize what was going on, who you had just betrayed. He was angry now. So angry. 

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Jesus was getting mad, you lied to him. You would pay to. He promised you would pay. 

He who has wrath of God almighty will most surely hurt those in his path. Unfortunately Sydney had just stepped on the path, _his _path. Jesus was very mad.


End file.
